Ego
is your
greatest foe.
greatest foe.
*
Dear Body,
as promised
in my last letter to you,
I'll be breaking some juicy bits
on my discovery of
ego's
true colours.
Since the time
I embarked on the journey of
my Ego
has been
stripped, scrutinized and tamed
for
longevity's sake.
As my mentors have always taught,
'Everything rises and falls
with
leadership.'
At the worst periods of my life,
Ego was the
Ego was the
Queen of my being.
Operating full-time [and overtime]
in my
Will,
[the decision-making center of a person's soul],
she threw my life
into a campaign that
promoted and indulged in her
numerous guilty pleasures.
How she binged on them
and
cost my overall health!
I realize
I've
over-indulged
and
wrongfully allowed
her to settle on the pedestal of my
Will.
She didn't just make
the most horrible
decisions
but
also had me
pay the damages.
Let me elaborate how bad a leader she makes:
*
Ego
never wants
to be your friend.
She is
not interested in
helping you become
a better person.
She
serves no one
but
herself.
She doesn't care
what's good for
you
but
only for
what's good for
herself.
Sharing
is an atrocious request for her
because
Ego
never shares.
Upon unwavering conviction that she
solely deserves all,
she hoards all things to herself.
Characteristically,
she's got a
strong personality.
Overtly independent,
she
never seeks counsel
from others.
She doesn't see the need to,
since she believes
she already knows everything.
Listening
is almost impossible.
I suspect she's
lost her sense of hearing.
The only voice
she honors is
her own.
If there's any song in her playlist,
the song writer would be
her,
and the lyrics would be
about herself.
And she puts it on
repeat.
As you can see,
she is an
obvious extremist.
Never invite her to cycling, roller-blading or yoga sessions
because she'll injure really badly.
Balance
is just not her thing.
To put it politely,
Ego
has a
poor concept of time.
The objects she hates most are
watches, clocks and calendars
because she
doesn't know how to read them
and
she doesn't intend
to ever learn how.
With no sense of timing at all,
Ego is a
hopeless insomniac.
Like fish, her eyes are always open.
To her,
sleep
is a
waste of time.
She's a
rest-handicap.
So many things could be
achieved
in those hours,
she'd argue.
What a
workaholic!
Besides work,
Ego is a
thrill-seeker.
Never content,
her insatiable appetite plunges her
from
one amusement to another,
scurries off
to her
latest whims and fancies
latest whims and fancies
-
all with no breaks in between.
Ego
always
wants more.
She's
chronically unthankful.
She just
demands for
'what's next'.
In case you wonder,
'today', 'now'
and….
'NOW!'
are her deepest understanding of time.
With an
immense craving for
speed,
the quickest way to infuriate her
is to make her
wait.
Remember the first day
of my
'winter holiday'
when there was no to-do list to clear,
agenda to achieve
and
no appointment to make?
Ego
went berserk!
In great panic,
she organized and delegated
my
heart and mind
to jazz up a
self-pity festival
that lasted for months.
It was a hullabaloo of incessant
deep sighs, groans, tears and tantrums.
From dawn to dusk,
the clamor persistently tortured
my sanity.
Oh how this ruckus
made my face resemble a
sour prune
topped up
with the
eyes of a raccoon.
At that time,
I didn't know
Ego
was the mastermind of this ridiculous wilderness
I was caught in.
Conditioned by her daily influence,
I was oblivious there's anything wrong with
my will.
No matter
who I met
and
where I went,
the noise followed
and
continued to rage within.
It was then
I realize
something was wrong
within me.
My heart
was
sick.
My mind
was
delirious.
And you,
my body,
was
breaking down.
Before my entire being
spun out of control,
and with the help of
friends and family,
I've arrested Ego
and
summoned her under control.
She's not going to
run my life.
She's no
Lady Boss.
My heart, mind and body
have suffered enough.
I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to
kill her completely
but
I know
she's here to stay with me
for a lifetime -
at least not for eternity.
If I don't
deal with her in this lifetime,
she'll destroy my eternity.
That'd be too difficult to bear
on my deathbed.
It wasn't easy
keeping her in the cage.
I had to grapple and wrestle
with her.
I thought it was
too exhausting
to bother
but
I must say this change of lifestyle
has
grown me in several ways.
There are glorious days
ahead for us.
Greater things to be done.
And for us to live them out,
I need you to
be healthy.
I need
my heart and mind
to be
strong.
For that,
I'll fight on.
Even if it's for a lifetime,
our victory will be worth an
eternity.
With faith, hope and love,
Valerie
*
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