Enjoy.

Loving 

people

is

simply

enjoying

people.

[more pictures here]

*

Enjoy 

someone

today.

*

Look Closer.

When you

take time 

to

observe,

you'll

 discover

what

others

cannot see.

*

Live differently 

today.

Look

around you.

Tune 

your senses

toward

someone.

Look 

into his

heart.

Listen

to his

 thoughts.

You

will

feel 

what he

feels.

You

will

discover

his

needs.

You

might

find

his

wounds.

Let these discoveries

lead you

to do 

what you can.

Show love.

Take action.

Ask questions.

Listen.

Encourage.

Comfort.

*

Touching lives

is

easy.

It just requires

time

and

willingness.

*

Broken Daul.

Know your 

breaking point

before it's

too late.

*

Daul Kim

1989-2009

*

 A 20-year-old top South Korean model 

who was a fashion week regular in 

New York, Milan and Paris 

has been found hanged

 in her Paris apartment.

In an Oct. 30 entry on her blog, Kim wrote she was "mad depressed and overworked," and in another entry said "the more i gain the more lonely it is ... i know i'm like a ghost."

[AP]

*

Could someone have 

noticed

the signs of this wounded soul?

Could someone have 

taken time

and

be genuinely interested

 in her,

as a person?

Could someone have

stepped into her world

and

asked the right questions,

wait 

and

listen?

Being sensitive

 to people

can save lives.

When

too much trauma 

builds up 

in a person,

especially during his or her

developing years,

unresolved conflicts

would

haunt and decay

the person's soul.

Take a look

at how it's like

and learn two lessons from this Daul's story.

If you're hurting,

open up to someone

who's proven himself or herself

to be trustworthy and wise,

especially someone

 who has

overcome what you're going through.

If you're not,

learn to be sensitive and observant

of the people around you.

People always look okay.

But not everyone is okay

when you look

into their hearts.

Daul didn't just look okay,

she looked fantastic

in her 20 years.

She reigns from a

wealthy family.

She was a straight-As student.

She had a

dream job as a world class model.

Karl Lagerfeld loves her.

Harpers Bazaar awarded her model of the year.

She had credit cards to swipe.

She had many friends.

She had a creative hobbies of DJing and painting.

She smiles for the camera everyday.

Rich, smart, gorgeous, popular, independent, productive, creative -

But she was not okay.

There are people

waiting for someone 

to trust,

care enough 

to give them some time 

to listen to them

 share their worst days.

[writings from her blog]

i grew up in singapore, since i was 7 till like 16...

one summer, i went to sailing trip with school friends

and i got very traumatized by that trip

i came back and i did not return to school

i think i was 14? 15? something like that

i was lucky my neighbour was a famous cinematograpaher? artist

and i used to hang out there instead of going to school.

i used to draw at his studio and he would tell me things like

im not really depressed im just pretending so i that i could skip school.


he used to play this song by cibo matto sugar water

on loop

he teached me about marxism and punk culture etc

and wanted to play golf with my dad.


my parents were... kind of horrified


*

all my life i was with demented older intellectuals or artists as boyfriends

respected me, felt sorry for me and also at the same time kinda hated me

they tried to influence me as much as possible .

taught me about a lot of stuff theologically and tried to show me their world

i understood
and related to some.
i felt sorry for them too.
compassion is not love.
and i was a sensitive lover

but emotionally none of their topics
touched my heart.

i wonder if it touched theirs too.

analysis and knowledge makes people feel secure.

but do you really understand?




cos i really don't give a shit about chomsky.

i would rather have a hug


i guess this is why when i see woody allen movies i feel so depressed.


*

i tell myself

im strong.

i dont need to show

my painful past

no one needs to know

the horror i went through

i grew up too quick

and no one, saw past my surface

i dont know how to hurt people

i dont know how to be loved

i dont know how to love

im hurt

but im strong


and im perfect

alone.

im lonely.

what kind of loneliness?

every kind.

i feel disconnected. abandoned.

as always.

repetition

so what my love.

so what.


at first,

i just wanted to run away.

now i have no where else to run to

nothing to run from

i dont belong

anywhere.

i dont want to go anywhere

i just wanted to be happy

*

Child-self.

A chip

off the old block.

*

Who should you

resemble?

Who is your

role model?

Who do you want

to

grow 

to 

become?

*

No matter 

how old you are,

you are always

someone's child.

More than

a biological child of our

parents,

in our soul,

there is a

child

 in

all of us.

As we age,

we pursue

growing

intellectually, emotionally and behaviourally.

We are taught,

that as we

 mature, 

we put away childish things.

But that does not mean

suppressing

your childlikeness,

your child-self.

The degree of your maturity

does not equal to

how serious you look

and

how much you work.

But

  some of us

really think it does,

because of our

role models,

or

the people

we're trying to be like.

As we get older,

we

value 

work 

more than anything else

because we tend to

measure our 

self-worth

with our

work performance reports

and

pay cheques.

We seem to

  need to prove ourselves 

to everybody,

and strangely,

especially people we don't like,

again and again

what we are made of.

This is the

adult-self

in action.

The man or woman

who

means business

and

is now

 independent.

In short,

hasn't this man

become

a slave to

work?

Who is he 

trying to please?

He has to

work hard to

earn 

his value.

Who is he 

trying to prove to?

He is a mere

servant

to the social system.

To this man,

play

 is out of the way.

Work 

is most important.

His child-self

is dead.

He is too busy 

to spend time with people,

too busy

to appreciate and enjoy

 them,

too busy,

just too busy.

*

Is this maturity?

Is this the kind of life,

such 

a bitter and boring life,

maturity

produces?

*

What is maturity

then?

Work and play,

adult-self and child-self,

which is more important?

*

First Love.

What

 is the most 

prestigious identity

you

could ever have?

*

Last year,

one of my mentors

spoke

to me a

statement

which

I've been 

holding onto

ever since then.

'You've always wanted

to know 

''What's my destiny?''

Val,

your greatest destiny

is to 

be 

His 

daughter.'

At that moment,

my hopes

 dipped.

Past years,

my mind has constructed

grand and wild

dreams and desires

according to the

exciting promises of

'...above and beyond

your imagination...',

'No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

what's in stored

for those who love him.'

I struggled at the

plain word,

'Daughter'.

'Shouldn't my destiny be

something

more.

What's the deal 

about 

being 

a daughter?

I

already

know

I am a

daughter...'

Everyday

since,

I carried the statement

in my

heart

and

flipped it over and over

in my

head.

While

 I still couldn't

understand,

I continued

racing through 

each day,

my eyes fixed on

my destiny fantasy 

of being the

great-Valerie

I was determined to be.

In four words,

they are written on top of

every page of my

schedule book,

they are

'Creativity,

Wisdom,

Excellence,

Faithfulness.'

I wanted to focus on

developing myself

in these areas

so I could,

one fine day,

 be,

as I always shared when asked

in parties or interviews,

'...a leader in the creative industry

who produces excellent work

and is known for 

wisdom 

and 

her faithfulness to God.'

Sounds like a,

noble dream.

Looking at it,

there's nothing wrong with

having such ambition.

What's

really wrong,

what's

sadly wrong,

was how

 insanely great

I've magnified

being a

powerful person

and

very quietly,

despised

the

identity of being

'just

 a daughter'.

I never knew

I was blind

to this truth

until

a series of episodes,

awful but critically necessary episodes,

that

crippled my capabilities

and

stripped me 

of my

self-made confidence.

Despite all

persistence, 

diligence, 

and

laser-focus,

my entire life was

halted,

and 

broken.

Career ,

bank account

and

self-esteem.

Then I realized,

actually,

besides

money and ego,

I've lost

the very purpose,

what life is all about,

and it's something

priceless -

relationships.

I've invested

so much

 time 

on

crafting

my destiny,

I've

  forgotten

and

began to disdain

the art of being

a person -

a friend 

to my friends and people,

a daughter and niece

to my mother and aunt,

and

most of all,

a daughter 

of whom

 I used to

endearingly call,

Daddy.

See,

I knew

I was his daughter,

but

I was

not

being 

a daughter at all.

You could be a

son

of someone

but

not have a relationship with him.

My daughter-identity

became

head-knowledge.

It's as good as

having a Singaporean identity card

and not

loving Singapore at all.

He was not in 

my heart.

What's replaced him

was

my

 noble and grand

dreams and destiny.

Looking back,

that was the time

I wrote emergency e-mails to my mentors

that

'My soul 

is a

 desert.

I don't know why 

I am such an 

unhappy person.'

Truth,

through wise people in my life,

 has shown me

why.

My selfishness has drifted me so far apart

from

where I

 began and belonged

that

I felt like a

stranger,

and sometimes,

terrifyingly,

an enemy

around

my 

first love.

More often,

I found myself

disagreeing

with what I used to believe

and

having attitudes

I used to detest.

My nature,

had grown strangely

different from

who I called

Daddy.

I was less and less

like him.

Gradually,

I realized I was dangerously

far from home.

 And I knew

that

 if I don't turnaround

and

go home,

even if I 

have all the world,

I would be unhappy

 forever.

Turnaround:

I 

sat my soul down -

I bent my 

will,

shut up my 

prideful mind,

made my 

stubborn heart bow

to this decision:

'I want to be creative,

I want to be wise

I want to be excellent,

I can be faithful,

but

above all,

I am 

and

will always be

 his

daughter.'

And as

 his daughter,

won't

creativity,

wisdom,

excellence

and

a faithful character

be the fruits

of it all?

What is achieving all things

in life

without your

first love

to celebrate with you?

What is having all the world

to shower praise, fame and recognition

on you

when

your truest Love,

the most perfect Love,

could not recognize you

and

does not call you

his own

anymore?'

*

Changing Inside-Out.

Once

your father,

always your father.

Once his 

daughter,

always his daughter.

Nothing

can ever change that.

Who I become,

is

who

I allow 

myself

to

belong to.

*

Every relationship

we own

has the power to

change

us.

The change

is called

Influence.

You are

not influenced

by someone

just because

you

do

what he says.

You can

 carry out 

an instruction 

given by someone

and

not have a relationship

 with him.

You can

 be with him 

all day

and

feel nothing 

for him.

*

So when does

influence

take place?

When there is

 an 

exchange,

heart to heart.

*

You are influenced

when you

open your heart 

to a person.

You share what's

in

your heart

and

You

remain open

to

 receive

his response.

The

  most powerful

influence

you could ever

allow 

into your life

is

who you belong to.

And

beyond blood and bones,

body and soul,

the deepest,

most intimate relationship,

is one forged

spirit to spirit.

*

A relationship of

Body to body,

miraculously

creates

 a new human being.

A relationship of

Soul to soul,

mind to mind,

heart to heart,

will to will,

creates new things.

And at its

 most magical,

most supernatural,

beyond human comprehension and ability,

a relationship of

Spirit to spirit

births,

creates,

transforms,

renews

your soul - mind, heart and will

which

influences

your body.

In this relationship,

You are changing everyday,

inside-out.

*

[to be continued]

Develop Me.

Knowledge 

can be downloaded

from

 books, schools and courses.

Wisdom

can be downloaded

exclusively,

in

relationships.

*

Anyone 

can be

knowledgeable.

You can be a

chronically unhappy

and

lonely

human being,

and be

fantastically intelligent,

productive, efficient, quick-thinking

brilliant problem solver.

But

it is

 impossible,

in the long term,

to be 

unhappy

and be

wise

because

wisdom

is only found

in a

relationship 

with someone

wiser.

*

Downloading

knowledge 

only

develops

your mind,

which is

one-ninth 

of your whole being.

[You and I are made up of 

three parts -

body, soul and spirit.

Your soul

is made up of

Mind- 

Intelligent Quotient

Emotions/Heart - 

Emotional Quotient

Will - 

Your decision-making centre. ]

That explains why

someone with

an impressive IQ

could feel

empty

or

incomplete.

Downloading

wisdom 

develops

your

 whole being,
and
ultimately,
your
entire life

because

to be involved in a

relationship,

your soul,

your mind, heart and will,

your body,

[being physically present to engage in conversations;

physical contact in play 

or

 hugs, a pat on the back, et cetera.]

and

your spirit

are required.

This relationship

we're talking about

is

either of

friendship
with someone wiser

or,

at the

highest level 

of all relationships,

sonship
of someone wiser
.

Why

and

how so?

[to be continued]

*