Papa.

I never thought it's possible
But I made it.

After I reconciled with Abba,
He never stopped restoring my life.

It's not the love he has.
But the Love
He
Was and Is and Always will be.

Fatherhood was a foreign word to me.
I remember when I was a kid,
I always hoped for my father to sign my report books
But never had any.
I grew tired hoping
So I resorted to forgery.

Many times,
I bugged mum to sign up for TV dating programmes.
''Mummy, I want a papa.''
She'd only laugh and walk away.

At night,
On my bed,
Amidst all my dolls and teddy bears,
I'd pretend I've a dad to
Tuck me in,
Read me a story
And kiss me goodnight.

But Aunt Zoe, Uncle Jack and Ah Ma
Took turns to do that for me.

This ended when I became a big girl.
I looked for replacements everywhere.
Bad love's better than no love.

*


But now,
I have more than everything.

I have Abba,
And after the phonecall last Friday,
I have Papa.

It was akward and disappointing at first.
But he called me back Saturday 9p.m.
And I know it's never gonna be the same again.


*

There is no relationship
He cannot restore.

You have given to me
More than this world can give.
Fill me as you hold
My outstretched hands.

*