Die A Thousand Deaths

I was reminded today

About how we embrace newness.

The only way is through death.

Nip and tuck if you've got the bucks.

But our human pursuit of perfection is vanity.

I enjoy dolling up.

It's a grownup child's play.

It's our responsibility to look presentable

And there're no limits to displaying creativity on your body.

I dress up outwardly

But I've learnt to dress down inwardly.

Only inner death can bring lasting newness.

It's a ruthless denial of self.

When you are bitten by the poison of human nature,

You will loathe it.

Its mouth spits words that

Stab hearts,

Shut doors that should never be shut,

Open doors that should never be opened.

I've learnt to hold my tongue

Even when my flesh screams criticism and judgement

That I have no authority to issue.

My mind.

It has a life of its own.

So does yours.

We can't suffocate it with daily yoga-meditations.

I think it's a silly acitivity.

How can emptying your mind

And meditating on whiteness

Delete your problems?

It's an ultimate bluff.

I've met plenty new-age fanatics who became more sour and bitter about life.

It's not about starving your brain.

It's about managing it.

Replacing bad thoughts with good thoughts.

We need to prune it everyday.

We need to feed it with the right food regularly.

So renewal is continual, not once a week.

Death is never easy.

But such deaths are worthwhile.

I've died to lateness.

I made myself pay for my lack of discipline with cabfares.

It's only then, I've been raised up to punctuality.

I've died to being inclined to suicide.

I will never forget the night I crawled back to my Saviour.

It's only then, I've been raised up to live through second-chance.

I've died to being over-dependent on people.

I replaced weighing my value on the scale of people's opinions

With

The scale of His opinions.

Last time I checked,

He's the one who paid for my life.

Only He has the right to determine my value.

It's nice to be popular with people.

But

Nothing beats being approved

By the Greatest.

For us,

Our death ends in sweetness;

One that lingers forever.

Cotsworld Hotel, London
Suites of Cotsworld
Art House at Jingumae, Tokyo