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My Beloved.



I remember 
your smell.

I smell it
now.

When we watch TV,
I play with your unforgettable hands.
My little fingers trace the popped-up veins on your waxy skin;
I feel your heartbeat
that beats for your children and for me.
The jade bangle on your wrist,
you say,
changes colours with your moods.
It cools the tempest in you 
on bad days 
and
deepens to a curious green 
on better days.

Once outdoors, 
you beckon me
to clutch onto the edge of your blouse.
As we potter about town,
your keys that dangle by your pants jingle quietly.

First, 
to the hair salon for a quick wash.
Yes, 
please,

the classy old lady
       and the kid.

When you are not looking, 
my hands sneak into your purse
to pinch and pocket 
coins and candies.

Fresh-head and smelling of shampoo,
we dally to the supermarket
to lug home more Japanese biscuits, cheese sticks and jelly drinks.
Before we go,
I add to the cashier counter 
Aladdin pencils and notebooks.

Sitting amidst a cab full 
of shopping bags,
we share Harrod’s biscuits from a pretty tin can.
Dizzy and full,
I lay on your lap;
you chatter on with the taxi driver like a long lost friend.
In the sky blue lift,
I impress you playing Polka Marzuka on an invisible piano against the wall.
Once at our floor,
I sprint down the corridoor 
to impress again. 

You strolled towards me 
like a queen,
grinned and prized me with a thumb up in the air,
'Berry goot!
So cleb-ber!' 
Home now.
You unfailingly whip up a spread for dinner -
brewed soup, steamed fish, vegetables and always one specialty dish.
At the coffee table, we play games to help me eat more and quicker. 
Late night,
we catch the soap drama before
winding down on our cold, huge bed.

Tiredness has closed my eyes,
but 
I know you are still with me
as I trace the soft and warm veins
on your waxy skin.

Ten years
have gone on without you

but
for this lifetime,
my beloved,
you live in my
veins
and
wildest imaginations.

In heaven,
I'll smell you out
and when we meet,
we shall enjoy a
hair wash
and
 buy more biscuits at the supermarket.

*







1 comment:

cranberries_empty said...

Wow.. I wonder where the comments went. :) But this is probably the best piece of eulogy I have ever read. Tears welled up but of appreciation of a life that produced more life. :)

Thank you, val for sharing your grandma with this writing.

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