Mai Pen Lai.

I didn't know I was vacationing at
one of the happiest nations in the world
when I took this picture January 2008.

According to Eric Weiner,
the Thais secret to happiness are
found in two life perspectives
they hold dear in their culture:

mai pen lai
definition: never mind

Not the 'whatever, never mind then' that
we spit in annoyance but
a 'real, just drop-it-and-get-on-with-life'
''never mind''

Weiner says foreigners either adopt mai pen lai
or go insane.

This is more tough than an acrobatic feat
for choleric personalities,
especially those from Singapore.

While mai pen lai has its drawbacks
such as a cover-up for incompetence or laziness,
there are
problems in life I think we can afford to
mai pen lai.

I managed to drop a few unnecessary baggage
and find more reason to smile
when I started telling myself,
'Okay Valerie, mai pen lai.'

If I want to embrace a new persepective in life,
I got to ditch the old ones.

Let's look at the second secret to
Thai's happiness:

jai yen
defintion: cool heart

There's an unwritten law in the Thai marketplace -

No matter what,
don't explode.
''If you're upset with someone,
observe a cooling-off period.''

Kunip, a Thai school principal
shares how they do it through a story.

Weiner wrote:

''A neighbour had a banana tree that had grown so fulsomely
that it extended onto Kunip's property.
Insects attached to the banana tree
were infiltrating his house.

This is where an American probably would
have said to his neighbour,
''Yo, do something about your frickin' banana tree!
I've got bugs in my house.''
It's what I would have said.

But that's not what Kunip did.
He broke off a leaf of the banana tree,
just one leaf,
thus subtly signaling to his neighbour his displeasure.

A few days later,
the neighbour's gardener showed up and
pruned the banana tree.

The conflict was resolved
without a word being uttered.''

Kunip says,

''The relationship always comes first.

It is more important than the problem.''

Now,
that's a good one.

*

When you can't get what you want
and you think you're going
to dive into lunacy,

Mai pen lai.
It's okay, you can live without it.
Move on.

When someone says the
wrong thing at the wrong time
too many times
and that could shoot you off the roof,

Jai yen.
Relationships are more important than the problem.