Caring Contact.

'If we

don't

ease

each other's stress

through

caring contact,

we will all be

increasingly

distressed.'

Dr. Bruce Perry, leading child psychiatrist

and co-author of Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential - and Endangered

*

'While we are

born

for love,

we need to

receive

it

in certain, specific ways in

early life

to  benefit most

from

its

mercy.

We need to

practice

love

as we grow through

difficult social experiences

to best be able to

give it back

in

abundance.

The brain becomes

what it does most frequently

-

it is

shaped

everyday

by

what we

do

-

and what we

don't.

If we don't

practice

empathy,

we can't be

more

emphatic.

If we don't

interact

with people,

we can't

improve

our connections

to them.

If we don't

ease

each other's stress

through

caring contact,

we will all be

increasingly

distressed.'

*

Balm of Life.



[Colombo, Sri Lanka

Andrew Cabellero Reynolds, Reuters]

Adults

who often

feel

grateful

have

more

energy,

are

more

optimistic,

earn

more

money,

sleep

more

soundly,

exercise

more

regularly,

and

fall ill

less easily

than

those who

don't.

[Study report on The Wall Street Journal]

*

The Magic of Gratitude.

[EPA]

Children

who often

feel and act on

gratitude

are

less

materialistic,

get

better grades,

set

higher goals,

complain

of

fewer stomaches, headaches

and

are

more satisfied with

family and friends

than those who

don't.

[Studies reported by the Wall Street Journal]

*

It's O.K.

Being happy 

means 

you realise 

there are times 

when 

you will be 

unhappy 

and 

you accept 

that

life 

sometimes 

stinks. 

*

Let People Feel.

We

don't have 

to

be happy

to

feel good.

*

One of the

worst

birthday messages

is,

'Stay

happy!'

And

it spans to a spectrum of

'Stay

beautiful!

Stay

cool!'

This contributes

to 

the life lesson

we should all

unlearn:

'It's important to

stay

   happy.'

For the sake

of your

total well-being,

Shake this

expectation

off your back

because it is

emotionally

unhealthy

and

logically

unnatural.

Need proof?

Recall a time

when you were

distressed

about something.

You

approached a friend

and

started to share 

about it.

Your confidante

then 

issues his/her 

piece of mind,

'Hey,

it's okay.

I think it's really

not a big deal.

I know

exactly how you feel.

Just don't 

be upset.

Move on,

cheer up!'

Case dismissed.

Now,

did you

feel 

good?

How about,

 better?

Did you

 magically

become happy again,

bouncing off

like nothing has happened?

*

In situations like this,

it is

stressful

to

not allow 

yourself

to

feel

as you

feel.

When 

you need 

to

vomit,

vomit!

Swallowing

it down

is not going

do you any good.

Negative feelings

are

signs

that are 

steering your attention 

to

something

you need 

to

deal with

or 

 to something

haven't dealt with.

Feeling

is

dealing

when

you become 

aware

of

why 

you feel

what 

you feel.

Sometimes,

we need others

to help us

find the sources

of our

frustration, pain, anger or sadness.

We could

do that

for others 

too.

We could

ask

them

 constructive

questions

instead of

dishing out

our 

intelligent analysis

and

insist 

our friends to

'Cheer up.'

Permit

others to be

sad.

Let them be

human.

We will all

feel

better

after that.

The foundation of

well-being

is 

not

continuous happiness.

Robots

could be programmed

this way.

But 

we are not

machines.

We are just 

not

designed

that way.

It is okay

to be sad

when

you need to be.

Let it out.

Grieve

if you need to.

Bad weather

happens.

Don't withhold

the 

dark clouds.

They do 

get heavier

with time.

Release 

them.

Rain

your tears

to its last drop.

Then 

you might

catch the 

rainbow

at the first touch

of

sunshine.

*



See Deep.

Everyone

looks 

at her

but

no

one

sees 

her.

*

People

want

her

but

few

care about

knowing

her

soul.

*

Beautiful girls

don't

get 

all

 the 

good things

in life.

*



Soul Feast.

[Athar Hussain, Pakistan]

Dear readers, 

this is Valerictorian's fourth year

in cyberverse.

The FAQ's

I get about this website has been,

'Why 

start Valerictorian?'

It is birthed from

frustration.

That was a time when

the 'emo' pop culture was rising

and

eyeliners, black nail polish and skinny guys

reigned the streets.

I was frustrated 

with the 

daily blizzard 

of 

negative blog posts,

the 

mindless, reckless droppings

of 

groundless, homemade philosophies.

The WWW has become a

smelly, black and stagnant swamp;

littered with 

emotional gibberish.

Almost anyone who swims in it

is

 dirtied.

Word by word,

blog by blog,

the

 info sludge has grown

above our heads,

blocking our ears,

burdening our souls

more than ever.

In the midst of clutter,

it's not easy to distinguish

what's 

true and false.

It was messing with the 

minds and hearts 

 of people I cared for.

Our souls 

are always

thirsty 

for some refreshment,

cold 

for some warmth

because

it is easy to be 

heavy

and 

difficult to be 

light.

And

along with those who have already been 

bringing in the much needed rain and sunshine

to 

invigorate 

those around them,

I hope to provide that too

-

not 

with

who 

I am,

but from

who I know,

my relationship with them,

observations of their lives,

and

studies of the words they live out.

I believe

that 

anyone who thinks he knows it all

is a fool for sure

and to 

broadcast inaccurate, misleading digital content

is a 

social crime.

Unsurprisingly,

for I am only 

human,

I must have been guilty before.

That is why in this 

little garden where 

I hope to

invigorate the 

souls of my guests,

the seeds I've been sowing are from

my personal encounters, 

true life observations

and

 thorough readings from established research archives.

In the form of storytelling and visuals,

I wish to broadcast and promote

what I believe would be 

food for our soul

-

nothing else.

Not to 

teach,

for 

I have not attained the gravity to do so,

but to

inform and uphold

what I believe is 

good to know.

Frustration 

has launched me on an endless search

for the

kiss of life.

I simply

enjoy spreading

anything that has benefited me,

in hope

it'd benefit you too.

This desire has steered me 

through 735 pieces of 

writings and visual expression

from which,

as much as I could,

craft them in digestible servings

 to tickle your taste buds

for what is 

truly tasty.

I do not know when would be the end of our feast.

But for now,

welcome to more.

Bon appetit.

*

Zip Loose Lips

Words

kill.

Words

give

life.

They're either

poison

or

food

-

you

choose.

*

It takes

a spark

to set off

a

forest fire.

One

careless

word

could

ignite
a

crisis.

*

By our

speech,

we

can ruin the

world,

turn

harmony

into

chaos,

throw mud

on

reputation.

*

By our

speech,

we

can

beautify

the world,

calm

riots,

nourish

someone's

self-esteem.

*

Poison
or
food

-

you
choose.